Most busy moms are familiar with the phrase "wearing a hat" to depict a certain persona she is portraying based on the task at hand. I've come to realize that I never really take off a "hat" and set it down. I more or less tip one hat to the side of my head when another is front and center. My "hats" flip-flop so frequently that it isn't worth taking them off. A perfect example is when I'm preparing dinner (cook hat), then I am called to attend a bathroom emergency for Kaikee (mama hat), then realize I need to rotate the laundry (maid hat), go back to stirring the pot on the stove (cook hat again), suddenly look at the clock and realize Michie needs to be at the Gym NOW! (chauffer hat), home again to finish the cooking (cook hat again). Just a typical day. I am definitely beyond the " Which hat are you wearing now" symbolism!
I find these days I am wearing different "bodysuits". Not to say I don't have my own life or that I am only living thru my children, but being so involved in their lives and connected emotionally to their personalities, I often feel I am experiencing their joys and frustrations while they carve out their life experiences. A great example happened over the course of 12 hours last weekend. It all started Friday night when I got to share the triumph of Brian earning a Ranger pin for his Cadet uniform. I got to experience the fruit of months of grueling physical exertion, being pushed to limits of stamina otherwise unheard of, and enduring situations of survival of the fittest. He had previously shared with me the labor, anxiety, and struggles required while performing for this group and I always felt a heavy hearrt while bearing it all with him . Wearing my "Cadet Bodysuit" was sweet that night!! A mere 6 hours after returning home, it was up early to put on a "Swimming Bodysuit" while getting Kyle ready to race in his first ever USA sanctioned long course meet. He shared the great results with me and positive words the coach graciously poured on him and my heart swelled with Success! At the same time, Reid was in military-mode as I donned my "JROTC Bodysuit" to participate in a physical training competition. The outcome was not as pleasurable as hoped, but his smile showed that he didn't care and my heart felt pleased.
Wearing layers is in style, luckily, cuz I also had on my "Gymnastics leotard Bodysuit" while Michie pushed her muscles in the hopes of achieving the last required skill needed to move up to the next competitive level, and my heart swelled with determination. Lastly, I put on another "Swimming Bodysuit" only this one was small enough to fit a 6 year old and it was full of nervous energy. Drew-bear tried out for the local swim team and made it!! What joy and excitment I got to experience with this little bundle of boy-energy! My heart swelled with pride!
It is finally evening when I can peel off each layer and once again find myself. Yes, I'm still in there, but I sure am much more well rounded and accomplished than I ever could be on my own!!